Why this existential tilt towards an older self?

 

Even as the word of God assures me that I am a new creation in Christ and the old is done with (2 Corinthians 5:17), an uncannily familiar voice enters stealthily and blends into the background of my mind – “Don’t even bother to change. It is better to do things “your” way!

I often spend time thinking about why I always return to those very sins I have surrendered to my Lord and as a result of this search, God answered me through a few people. And I would like to elaborate on what I found out in a series of articles. Some of these truths are so simple and stares me in the face. But we tend to forget these simple truths because the word of God is often pushed out of our minds.

When I began this article, I spoke of two contradictory voices- one is the Holy Spirit asking me to trust in God’s word and His power to help me overcome temptation. The other is the voice of the tempter, asking me to exert my old sinful self. A person’s weaknesses are best known to the devil. Thus, our inclination (the devil’s and in turn mine if I give him space) will always be to move our ‘selves’ into that sin.

To better illustrate this point, imagine a plane, thin, wooden board balanced on a pointed beam. It is so balanced because the sharp point of the beam is touching the board at it’s centre of gravity. If a weight is added to one part of the board the centre of gravity starts to shift. The board is no longer balanced and it topples over.( U can look at the pic of the balancing bird to understand the illustration better :P)

It is so with our Christian lives. We were created to live beautifully balanced lives, with God as the centre of our existence. But when we sin, our focus begins to shift and our lives become unbalanced. And, as long as we remain under the weight of sin, we will be helpless. Once in a while we ask God to forgive us when we come to a sudden realization of our state, but what we don’t realize is that a little dent has been made where the weight of sin had been previously. Every time we commit that sin, the dent becomes a little deeper.

For this to be prevented, we should continually ask for God’s covering over that area. But often we make the mistake of thinking it is enough to ask just once. God is so gentle that when we later try to peek towards that sin, He moves away. So we need to ask God daily to fill us with grace to overcome our temptations. As we ask, His work to repair the dent becomes easier. We also need to remember that , the minute we go back to that sin, we undo the healing work of our Father which has to be started all over again.

As Christians, we all struggle with sin daily and so Paul reminds us in Romans:

So then, brethren, we are debtors, but not to the flesh [we are not obligated to our carnal nature], to live [a life ruled by the standards set up by the dictates] of the flesh. For if you live according to [the dictates of] the flesh, you will surely die. But if through the power of the [Holy] Spirit you are [habitually] putting to death (making extinct, deadening) the [evil] deeds prompted by the body, you shall [really and genuinely] live forever. [Romans 8:12-13, Amplified Bible]

May our Lord Jesus Christ give us the grace to overcome our weaknesses and walk in His healing presence daily.

In my next post I will look at what happens to our faith when we sin.